I was sitting at work earlier this week when a teeny tiny jumping spider hopped out of my keyboard. A zebra jumping spider to be exact, and I’ll have you all know I spent a few minutes of subjecting myself to some nightmare fuel to find out what kind of spider he was. Yes. I also know from this google search of doom that it was indeed a he.

Anyhow. This teeny spider jumped out of my keyboard and was crawling around on my desk. I paused to look at him. “Is something the matter?” my office manager asked. “No. A spider just crawled out of my keyboard.” I said, watching the little blighter make his way all over my pile of paperwork. “….do you need me to….kill it or something?” “No! I’m just…seeing what it’s doing.” And I slowly went back to work. I fully expected the little guy to just crawl off into the distance and go away.

Nope. For the next eight hours I had a little spider friend on my desk. I ended up naming him Fleming (because why not) and he would crawl under the keyboard , to the phone to the papers, in the papers, under the papers, back to the keyboard, along the edge of the desk, over by my water glass…in a nonsensical circuit.

The smarmy little bastard would hide IN my stack of papers and I’d be forced to shuffle them to not accidentally squish him. He tried to climb on my phone, but tapping on the desk made him jump back and think again. All day he’s crawl around and I’d watch him, occasionally going ‘DAMMIT FLEMING’ whenever he appeared to have a death wish by going into or under things and needing immediate rescue.

Suitably, at the end of the day he crawled under my phone and disappeared…..part of me hopes he hops out again to help me confuse my coworkers and give me some free entertainment……